Pennies

I’m an asshole,
who fell face first, for a coal burning black hole.
A broke-neck ballerina, who likes to think she’s got a cracked soul.
Cuz the damage makes her deep,
and so much wiser than the other sheep……
But she lived a lie.
Though I never felt inclined to press or pry.
That sweet disguise,
that led my eyes,
To greener hills soaked through with pesticides.
She tried to test my hide.
But only fell back in, with the rest of the dead domestic tide,
who lead such dressed lives…
So she puts the joy up her nose,
and fades away with the desperate hive.
Seems green’s the only reason,
she’d ever leave for clearer seasons.
Pack up all her demons, cuz she could never seem to leave ‘em.
She can see but don’t believe them,
yet continues to feed them.
So with her wrists upturned, she takes a step towards her freedom.
I’m sure I’d be just as clueless, if she ever came around.
Forever sitting shoeless, picking pennies off the ground.
Forget the fear I found.
There were diamonds in that frown,
and someday she may feel inclined to turn them upside down.
Cuz I’d rip out the fucking stitches, and let her right back in again.
That cut that stole my weakest wishes,
and spit out all the bones.
I find me wishing for another side.v
Another cold, old shoulder that I could never tell a lie.
She’s got diamonds on the inside, you can see through her lips.
Though the rest is straight coal,
despite the pressure she lives with..
So go on, look my way.
See this sick twisted inner kid.
See me drowning in the sauce,
far too deep to know what winter did.
Though there’s nothing I could mend now,
and never remember.
How she left me in the snow, through that endless December.
But it’s quite clear I let her,
surely should have known better.
Now I’m begging for scraps, from a backwards table setter.
The kind that could never stay,
never learn to love a filthy stray.
So all I do is drink her voice away,
and feel sick for all my choices made.

So now I give god a good look at the bottom of my whiskey,
and curse the name of a girl who’s bound to never miss me.